I have made it at last! I went on a diet last March to lose three stone and get myself into reasonable shape again. It has taken this long but I have got there!
It was amazing just how bad my diet was before. Working twelve hour shifts I got into a lazy habit of eating out after work every night. You name it: Fish and Chips, KFC, Chinese..., all fine in moderation but not every night of the week!
There have been some great side benefits, apart from the obvious health implications. My confidence has grown considerably. I have also received a lot more attention from women when I am out and about. It will only be a matter of time before something clicks here!
I think I am also happier than I was. Before, I used food to make myself feel better when I was emotionally down. This comfort eating I didn't really identify until I stopped it. When I struggle with issues now, the thing to do is to put on some music (Malcolm Middleton, Pearl Jam, Sophia, Metallica etc...,) and write the issues out.
There is no going back. I can't imagination gaining that type of weight again. There are just too many positives now that I don't want to lose!
Showing posts with label motivation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motivation. Show all posts
Monday, 21 September 2009
Saturday, 15 August 2009
big egos
People with big egos have a persona like a Norman castle. The castle can look regal and impressive, befitting if not a king, at least a duke. A Norman castle is extremely difficult to penetrate and gives the master an air of invulnerability. If some local, unhappy with the taxes imposed by the Duke, wanted to take matters into their own hands, it would be near impossible for him to do anything.
People with massive egos act with similar confidence and appear invulnerable. The facade of their personalities can seem imposing and make the onlooker feel very small and insignificant.
Yet the very fact that the castle exists at all, just like the overbearing personality, is a mighty clue. Norman castles were built for a purpose. So, I would suggest, are massive egos. They are strategies of domination that are effective. Still, these strategies give away the fears of those they were designed for.
To notice that fear is the primary motivation, should be encouragement for people on the outside looking in.
People with massive egos act with similar confidence and appear invulnerable. The facade of their personalities can seem imposing and make the onlooker feel very small and insignificant.
Yet the very fact that the castle exists at all, just like the overbearing personality, is a mighty clue. Norman castles were built for a purpose. So, I would suggest, are massive egos. They are strategies of domination that are effective. Still, these strategies give away the fears of those they were designed for.
To notice that fear is the primary motivation, should be encouragement for people on the outside looking in.
Friday, 27 February 2009
Emotional parasites (2)
Another way that people try to deal with their loneliness and anger is by refusing to be alone. Such people can get so bad that they will put up with anything rather than take a look at themselves in the mirror. This is slightly different than off loading on people. It is inward rather than outward looking.
To borrow a phrase from a Leonard Cohen song, it's like living off the crumbs. This is evident in an abusive relationship when poeple seem to put up with terrible 'put downs' in public etc. There is also a cycle that develops here. Yes, there is a desire for emotional comfort from the victims perspective, but the 'put downs' reduce self-esteem until the person does not feel they have the strength to leave the bully.
The existence of 'feeders'- viz, people who constantly feed their partners until they become massive- relates to this. Such 'feeding' is interpreted as an act of love. But this is also motivated by the fear that a partner may leave. If the partner is so unattractive that no one else would want them, then the feeder can feel more secure in that relationship!
Human beings are certainly complex and feelings can manifest themselves in a manifold manner. The key is to try and discern the underlying motivation. It should be mentioned that such an attempt to discern motivation should be treated with caution. It is always easy to misjudge such motivations, especially in relation to people we are close with.
To borrow a phrase from a Leonard Cohen song, it's like living off the crumbs. This is evident in an abusive relationship when poeple seem to put up with terrible 'put downs' in public etc. There is also a cycle that develops here. Yes, there is a desire for emotional comfort from the victims perspective, but the 'put downs' reduce self-esteem until the person does not feel they have the strength to leave the bully.
The existence of 'feeders'- viz, people who constantly feed their partners until they become massive- relates to this. Such 'feeding' is interpreted as an act of love. But this is also motivated by the fear that a partner may leave. If the partner is so unattractive that no one else would want them, then the feeder can feel more secure in that relationship!
Human beings are certainly complex and feelings can manifest themselves in a manifold manner. The key is to try and discern the underlying motivation. It should be mentioned that such an attempt to discern motivation should be treated with caution. It is always easy to misjudge such motivations, especially in relation to people we are close with.
Sunday, 15 February 2009
What am I going to do today to make things better?
Every morning when I wake I look into the mirror and ask myself a question. "Is this the life you dreamt about when you were younger?"
It's a devasting question but one that can also be motivating. Life is never perfect. There are some things I am proud off and other things that I wish I could change. The frustrating thing about this question is that when you answer it honestly, you may not be able to change everything around in one day. Sometimes, in order to change your life small steps are required. Drastic action is not always the answer. Great things can sometimes take time.
The important thing is to remain focused and this question helps me do that. Everyday when I answer 'no'- I am then obligated to ask myself another question: "What am I going to do today to make things better?"
It's a devasting question but one that can also be motivating. Life is never perfect. There are some things I am proud off and other things that I wish I could change. The frustrating thing about this question is that when you answer it honestly, you may not be able to change everything around in one day. Sometimes, in order to change your life small steps are required. Drastic action is not always the answer. Great things can sometimes take time.
The important thing is to remain focused and this question helps me do that. Everyday when I answer 'no'- I am then obligated to ask myself another question: "What am I going to do today to make things better?"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)