Vampirism

The vampire is the most obvious metaphor for the emotional parasite. From Buffy the Vampire Slayer to Bram Stoker's Dracula- we have been telling stories about those beings that live off the energy of others.

We are both attracted and repulsed by the image of the vampire. There are the sexual undertones, the crossing of boundaries and the appeal of an eternity lived half dead.

We identify with this being from our own lives. We all know people who prey on others. We may have at some point been victim to such people. Whether that be bullying in school or the workplace, we can identify the vampires that live off the energy of others.

We are implicitly aware that vampires are only half human and have lost their souls. In concrete terms, this means that the vampires are not living their own fulfilled lives.

There is also the issue of deception. We are not always aware of who the vampires are until they strike. They may seduce their victims through promises or praise until it is too late. In a close relationship, flattery can be used like a drug. When we come to depend on the praise of others, this can be withdrawn at precise times so that the vampire can influence and control the victim.

As always- the lesson is to remain one's own most trusted friend. To be adult means making your own decisions, trusting your own thought processes and not relying too much on the friendship of others.

Emotional parasites (2)

Another way that people try to deal with their loneliness and anger is by refusing to be alone. Such people can get so bad that they will put up with anything rather than take a look at themselves in the mirror. This is slightly different than off loading on people. It is inward rather than outward looking.

To borrow a phrase from a Leonard Cohen song, it's like living off the crumbs. This is evident in an abusive relationship when poeple seem to put up with terrible 'put downs' in public etc. There is also a cycle that develops here. Yes, there is a desire for emotional comfort from the victims perspective, but the 'put downs' reduce self-esteem until the person does not feel they have the strength to leave the bully.

The existence of 'feeders'- viz, people who constantly feed their partners until they become massive- relates to this. Such 'feeding' is interpreted as an act of love. But this is also motivated by the fear that a partner may leave. If the partner is so unattractive that no one else would want them, then the feeder can feel more secure in that relationship!

Human beings are certainly complex and feelings can manifest themselves in a manifold manner. The key is to try and discern the underlying motivation. It should be mentioned that such an attempt to discern motivation should be treated with caution. It is always easy to misjudge such motivations, especially in relation to people we are close with.