I have made it at last! I went on a diet last March to lose three stone and get myself into reasonable shape again. It has taken this long but I have got there!
It was amazing just how bad my diet was before. Working twelve hour shifts I got into a lazy habit of eating out after work every night. You name it: Fish and Chips, KFC, Chinese..., all fine in moderation but not every night of the week!
There have been some great side benefits, apart from the obvious health implications. My confidence has grown considerably. I have also received a lot more attention from women when I am out and about. It will only be a matter of time before something clicks here!
I think I am also happier than I was. Before, I used food to make myself feel better when I was emotionally down. This comfort eating I didn't really identify until I stopped it. When I struggle with issues now, the thing to do is to put on some music (Malcolm Middleton, Pearl Jam, Sophia, Metallica etc...,) and write the issues out.
There is no going back. I can't imagination gaining that type of weight again. There are just too many positives now that I don't want to lose!
Monday, 21 September 2009
Monday, 14 September 2009
Psychological Blockage in Adolescence
It is especially difficult for a young adult to pass judgement on the the ideas that prevail at any given time. Part of the conflict of adolescence is spawned around the need for acceptance, coupled with the counter desire to express and portray an unique identity.
People can get stuck here for years. The effects of such blockage can range from mild depression, anxiety, anger and compulsive behaviors.
It is no accident that most writers first get published in their thirties. It can sometimes take that long to get beyond the psychological blockage of adolescence.
The book that I am writing at the moment deals with these kind of issues. One of the common pitfalls with someone experiencing these conflicting desires is how their self regard is inflated, so that their understanding of others is seriously affected. This of course, does not help the individual at all. How they might navigate their life into calmer waters is hampered if they can not see the obstacles for what they are.
Still, the pain of adolescence is like a second birth, if one is able to come through it. One also gets to learn about self-criticism, once the self regard of the obsessed teenager is overcome.
People can get stuck here for years. The effects of such blockage can range from mild depression, anxiety, anger and compulsive behaviors.
It is no accident that most writers first get published in their thirties. It can sometimes take that long to get beyond the psychological blockage of adolescence.
The book that I am writing at the moment deals with these kind of issues. One of the common pitfalls with someone experiencing these conflicting desires is how their self regard is inflated, so that their understanding of others is seriously affected. This of course, does not help the individual at all. How they might navigate their life into calmer waters is hampered if they can not see the obstacles for what they are.
Still, the pain of adolescence is like a second birth, if one is able to come through it. One also gets to learn about self-criticism, once the self regard of the obsessed teenager is overcome.
Sunday, 13 September 2009
Drinking and writing.
It has been a rough weekend. I was at a wedding all day Friday and last night I went to see The Lemonheads. I must have consumed several weeks worth of drink. I am only recovering now- and it is three thirty in the afternoon!
I was up early this morning as I had agreed to meet a friend for breakfast. I don't really get headaches the next day but I was disorientated. I am in no fit shape to write in that condition.
It is a funny thing- some people believe that drinking helps the creative process but for me it only blurs how I think and my mental capacity is badly affected.
While drunk- the imagination also becomes more base. One starts to think only of food and procreation! Not that those things are necessarily bad, it's just that the complexities of life can be filtered out when writing under the influence.
And of course, that is the point. One of the reasons why drink is so attractive is because life does seem less difficult while drunk. You feel you can take on the world and win.
I guess that some of the people who find that drink helps them write, suffer from a confidence issue. But it may only help in this limited way- one can find the courage to commit words to the page when an otherwise self critical mind imposes a writer's block.
Later I will put a Muse CD into my sound system, turn on the laptop and get a couple of thousand words written. It is a process I fully enjoy, as I work my way towards the end of another novel.
I will be sober.
I was up early this morning as I had agreed to meet a friend for breakfast. I don't really get headaches the next day but I was disorientated. I am in no fit shape to write in that condition.
It is a funny thing- some people believe that drinking helps the creative process but for me it only blurs how I think and my mental capacity is badly affected.
While drunk- the imagination also becomes more base. One starts to think only of food and procreation! Not that those things are necessarily bad, it's just that the complexities of life can be filtered out when writing under the influence.
And of course, that is the point. One of the reasons why drink is so attractive is because life does seem less difficult while drunk. You feel you can take on the world and win.
I guess that some of the people who find that drink helps them write, suffer from a confidence issue. But it may only help in this limited way- one can find the courage to commit words to the page when an otherwise self critical mind imposes a writer's block.
Later I will put a Muse CD into my sound system, turn on the laptop and get a couple of thousand words written. It is a process I fully enjoy, as I work my way towards the end of another novel.
I will be sober.
Monday, 7 September 2009
Plans
It has been over a week now since I got back from London. It was a fantastic weekend. Every time I go there for a break or with work, my desire to move to the big smoke is renewed.
If I ever do manage to fulfill this desire, it will be next year before it happens. The book I am writing will probably take another month or so to finish. This is plan number one. If I achieve the freedom to live at the edge of society as a published author, I can start doing what I do best full time. i.e. be an observer of life and be creative with that.
If the publishing contract does not transpire- and let's be honest, this is the more likely option- then it's back to the job hunting. At least that way I can start on another fresh novel once I am there. I am encouraged by something that Eddie Vedder said recently: "Try something a hundred times and then ask yourself if you are any good at it." I will never write a hundred novels but I should be getting better the more books I finish.
Of course, even if I always fail to get published, this will still be a worthwhile activity. The primary thing is staying creative and open to the possibility of living the life I want to live.
Who knows where I will be in a years time.
If I ever do manage to fulfill this desire, it will be next year before it happens. The book I am writing will probably take another month or so to finish. This is plan number one. If I achieve the freedom to live at the edge of society as a published author, I can start doing what I do best full time. i.e. be an observer of life and be creative with that.
If the publishing contract does not transpire- and let's be honest, this is the more likely option- then it's back to the job hunting. At least that way I can start on another fresh novel once I am there. I am encouraged by something that Eddie Vedder said recently: "Try something a hundred times and then ask yourself if you are any good at it." I will never write a hundred novels but I should be getting better the more books I finish.
Of course, even if I always fail to get published, this will still be a worthwhile activity. The primary thing is staying creative and open to the possibility of living the life I want to live.
Who knows where I will be in a years time.
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